These 7 Beliefs Will Destroy Your Child
Parenting is a full-time commitment and job that you must be prepared for. From the moment you started experiencing pregnancy symptoms, you signed a commitment to love and nurture the best children.
Failure to teach your child the best way to and not to socialize with their peers and other people is catastrophic and could break them in the future. Let’s take a look at some beliefs that children should unlearn early:
- That Hitting Kids Is Acceptable
- That Kids Should Suffer to Learn
- That They Should Feel Ashamed of their Feelings
- That Uncomfortable Topics Should Be Ignored
- That Children Should Only be Seen and not Heard
- That You Must Show Affection to Relatives
1. That Hitting Kids is Acceptable
“I am not raising any weakling. I have taught my four-year-old boy how to deal with kids who cross their path the wrong way. A single punch or slap is enough to reset their brains.”
I am sure you have encountered such a statement from a parent. You could have also taught your children to always stand up for themselves and even conquer new territories.
It might look therapeutic to see your child hitting other kids to a pulp. What happens when the tables are turned against you?
Would you whine, rebuke, and beat up the other kid(s)?
As an adult, you should be the bigger person and always yearn for conscious parenting.
Teach your child that hitting other kids is unacceptable and only shows how weak they are.
A strong child avoids physical confrontation and instead addresses their disappointment orally.
If the other child(ren) turns out to be violent, your child should be wise enough to walk away.
Kenny Rogers, in his song, Coward of the County, sings, “You don’t have to fight to be a man.”
Your child does not have to hit other kids to prove their strength.
2. That Your Child Should Suffer to Learn
As small kids, our parents kept telling us how they suffered.
Subconsciously, they were grooming us to accept suffering as the ideal lifestyle.
“Many a times, we’d walk barefoot to school. One pair of uniform could last for four years. We’d go to school without lunch. We thank our parents because denying us this freedom helped us to harden.”
Before we knew it, we were in the same shoes.
Our parents could afford to buy us as many pairs of shoes and uniforms as possible, but they insisted that we should wear the same pair of shoes and clothes for aeons.
“We are not bringing a generation of softies. Putting on this single pair of shoes and uniform will open your eyes and brain to work hard.”
Was such kind of treatment justified? No.
Did treating us harshly help us to become better as adults?
No, we became better out of our own volition.
As a parent, avoid bleeding on your kid(s).
You might have endured so much as a kid, but your child(ren) doesn’t have to go through the same to learn.
Let’s embrace being the change that we yearned for as kids.
If you suffered as a kid, bring forth kids who don’t understand the suffering language.
If your parent(s) battered you, be a parent who listens and corrects their kids without turning violent.
3. That They Should be Ashamed of their Feelings
“Boys don’t cry! Girls don’t jump up like frogs when they are excited.”
The statements above are some of the ways through which parents manipulate their kids.
Boys are damned for crying since it is against the rule of nature for boys to cry, while girls are warned against behaving like boys.
The indoctrination might have stayed in your life for a long time, but as a conscious parent, you can change it.
Tell your boys to open up and tell you how they feel. Mould them to keep their heads up and handle any disappointment that comes their way like champions.
Don’t let the girls shun interacting with boys if it rocks their emotional boat. After all, we are humans, emotional beings, and bound to let emotions take a toll on us.
4. That Uncomfortable Topics Should Be Ignored
“What did you just say? Shut up and never speak up in public again. Why couldn’t you tell me when we were in the house?”
That statement came from a mother scolding her daughter, who was having her first menstruation.
As a parent, you should let your kids be as close to you as possible.
Failure to keep your child(ren) closer to you gives perverts, paedophiles, and other people with bad intentions the opportunity to mislead and prey on them.
“Who beat you in school? Who scolded you at the park? What are your fears? Have you ever thought of going bungee jumping?”
Talk to your child. Let your child open up to you about their lives. Children should unlearn the archaic beliefs that keeping to themselves protects them from the wrath of their parents.
5. That Children Should Only be Seen and Not Heard
Children should unlearn the belief that keeping quiet is the best way to live with older people.
Children, just like adults, have the right to be heard.
Does your child feel that you are too harsh? Was your colleague mean to your baby? Did you disappoint the child? The questions above are valid, and any child should raise them without feeling guilty.
As a parent, teach your child that their concerns matter, no matter how small, silly, or inconvenienced they appear.
Tell your children to speak up when they feel disrespected without harming others.
By teaching your children about their rights and how to speak up when oppressed or disrespected, you empower them.
An empowered child is a confident child and cannot be taken advantage of by anyone.
6. That You Must Show Affection to Relatives
Another belief that kids should unlearn is that they must for them to show affection to relatives.
Most relatives are incredible and sweet. They not only gift children but also share with them amazing moments.
However, some relatives are mean and cannot bond well with your child(ren). Such relatives might be harsh, make bad jokes, and use degrading and disgusting language and remarks on your children.
Would you still push your child to remain close to such a relative?
If you were in your child’s shoes, would you show affection to mean relatives?
You wouldn’t. Why would you expect your child to be affectionate to someone, yet you wouldn’t do the same?
Guide your children where you can, but let them choose the best relative for their well-being.
7. That it is Rude and Disrespectful to Disagree with Adults
When I was growing up, disagreeing with my parents was treasonable and would attract their wrath. I would not only receive backlash but also a serious whopping since it was considered disrespectful.
There were times when my mother would beat me up for a mistake I had not committed.
If I cried after receiving a serious beating, my mother would beat me up for being a crybaby.
Ironically, failing to cry during a beating would translate to being hard-headed and would result in more whopping.
Looking back, I shudder at the harsh treatment that I received.
There are so many things that I consider inappropriate that have happened to me, but I could not speak up because they were considered disrespectful to me.
The National Library of Medicine, through their research, established that children who are brought up with the seven beliefs tend to have mental problems. You would not wish to be such a parent, would you? Be the parent you wished you had when growing up.
